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Gillian Sanger

POLL: If you could add a few sentences to your last disagreement with someone you love, what would you add?

If you could add a few sentences to your last disagreement with someone you love, what would you add?  

4 members have voted

  1. 1. If you could add a few sentences to your last disagreement with someone you love, what would you add?

    • I don't quite understand. Can you say that again?
      1
    • Thank you for being honest.
      0
    • From what I am hearing, __________ is very important to you.
      0
    • I need a moment to reflect on what you've said.
      0
    • I am having a hard time listening right now.
      1
    • I disagree with you, but I respect your opinion.
      0
    • I am sorry.
      0
    • I feel misunderstood/unheard/unseen.
      0
    • We you say __________, I feel __________.
      2
    • Can you tell me more?
      2


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Reflect on the question:

If you could add a few sentences to your last disagreement with someone you love, what would you add?

Choose as many of the listed options that resonate with you. If there is something else you would say, share in the comments section. 

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hi   i would need to find a way to say sorry, It was not so much a disagreement but my mum is in a stage of possibly dementia although its not evident all of the time just lately there have been a few times where she has been adament  that something has happened when it has not I had to go to see her as my son was concerned by a phone call he got from her and when i got there she seemed tto be  more argumentative than confused, but i should have been kinder instead of reacting impatiently

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I have been there—with my dad during his last months before he passed away. It really reveals how much some of us rely on certain fixed perceptions and judgments of how things are and should be. To watch them fall apart really was unnerving. It was also a real lesson about the importance of letting-go of rigid views and expectations in favor of opening with love and generosity to what presents itself...with the ailing parent, oneself, and bewildered loved ones. In hindsight I could have done a lot better. I ask his forgiveness in meditation often. My culture in no way prepares one for this, so mistakes were to be expected. I had to forgive myself. A teacher says if we are not making mistakes, it is a mistake. I love that little aphorism. We need not react to mistakes with harshness but respond with kindness. My thoughts are with you. I really did not want to participate in this forum but the poignancy of your post tugged at my heartstrings. Best wishes to you.

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    • What a wonderful technique. It is a good reminder to celebrate our small moments of noticing when we've become lost in negative, critical thoughts. Thanks for sharing Daniel!
    • Hello Gareth! Thank you for the lovely introduction - and for your input on the question re: schizophrenia. It seems like you have a wealth of experience and knowledge. I'm Gillian - part of the support team for Sean's teacher training program and the community moderator of this forum. If you have any question, feel free to ask. In the meantime, if you'd like to share any thoughts or reflections elsewhere in the forum, it would be great to hear more about your expertise. Wishing you a peaceful Thursday! Gillian
    • Thanks to you both for your input! @Cookie, is this helpful for you?
    • Hi both, An interesting question. I've worked with Paranoid Schizophrenics in a Forensic Mental Health Care Home setting here in the UK. I was allowed to offer them Mindfulness, but NOT Hypnotherapy / Self Hypnosis... I could have applied for permission to work with hypnosis with these individuals as long as they weren't in a florid state. But I didn't get around to that as felt the Mindfulness would be enough for now. I don't know where you are in the World or what the regulations are there, but here are some interesting readings: https://thepsychologist.bps.org.uk/volume-25/edition-12/new-voices-should-we-be-more-mindful-psychosis https://www.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/pmc/articles/PMC6436583/#:~:text=Mindfulness meditation alleviates symptoms of,5 and reduced negative symptoms. https://www.heretohelp.bc.ca/visions/mindfulness-vol12/is-mindfulness-useful-or-dangerous-for-individuals-with-psychosis Many others here: https://www.google.com/search?q=mindfulness+for+paranoid+schizophrenia&rlz=1C5CHFA_enGB744GB744&oq=mindfulness+for+paranoid+sc&aqs=chrome.1.69i57j33i22i29i30l2.7544j0j7&sourceid=chrome&ie=UTF-8 My rule of thumb has always been to check with the person prescribing the anti psychotics (and make sure there is a paper trail). The results to date have varied from indifferent (with permission) to enthusiastic. With the greatest respect, I would add that I would NOT advise this to people who have no psych-brain training other than Mindfulness. Hope this helps, Gareth www.alchemylifetherapy.com 
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