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Ali Zien

Frustration or anxiety ?

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I wonder what is the origin of frustration ? is it fear of uncertainty ?

Mostly I would experience frustration when I am studying or programming, which makes me little bit peeved because the mental image it creates of "dead end" or big wall you can't cross. feeling lost or not knowing what to do, can't understand a topic..etc

I've journaled about it yesterday and by far I guess it has 2 reasons:

1- expectations for future, When you are not living life but rather wants to govern how things should look like in order for you to be happy then you deserve to suffer, telling the author how the movie should look like ? This movie has been in make for 15 billion years...who are you to demand how it should look like (This is me talking to myself in the journal, not offending anyone ^_^ ).. so for example, I expect to understand the topic from first or two tries.

2- The ego needs for perfection, denying it's ignorance and it is frustrated because the process of learning exposes this truth of how fragile and ignorant.

what do you think would end frustration ? or to ease it and accept it as part of the learning process ?

 

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Hey @Ali Zien! Thanks for sharing your journal reflections. As I'm now reading Radical Acceptance by Tara Brach, I am seeing frustration much like any other experience - that rather than trying to 'end' it, we might practice being with it unconditionally. Like other emotions, frustration is something we can sit with when it arises.

I also think that compassionate inquiry can help. We might ask ourselves what it is we are trying to deny, resist, or escape? What if we grant more patience, curiosity, and openness to this moment?

As for the origins.. hmmm, I will have to think more on that. But I do think it could have something to do with control. For instance, when I feel frustrated it is largely because something is not going 'my way'. It's almost as if I can feel myself in fight or flight mode, a mode that we are so accustomed to being in in this modern lifestyle.

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3 hours ago, Gillian Sanger said:

 

As for the origins.. hmmm, I will have to think more on that. But I do think it could have something to do with control. For instance, when I feel frustrated it is largely because something is not going 'my way'. It's almost as if I can feel myself in fight or flight mode, a mode that we are so accustomed to being in in this modern lifestyle.

I did describe  this "not going my way" in a very self-humbling way "This movie has been in make for 15 billion years...who are you to demand how it should look like "... not to be rough to myself but to remind myself to be "living" and to enjoy the movie with presence and gratitude to the maker of it ^_^

3 hours ago, Gillian Sanger said:

Hey @Ali Zien! Thanks for sharing your journal reflections. As I'm now reading Radical Acceptance by Tara Brach, I am seeing frustration much like any other experience - that rather than trying to 'end' it, we might practice being with it unconditionally. Like other emotions, frustration is something we can sit with when it arises.

I also think that compassionate inquiry can help. We might ask ourselves what it is we are trying to deny, resist, or escape? What if we grant more patience, curiosity, and openness to this moment?

 

I just had a similar experience but I wouldn't label it as frustration instead resistance, but I remember you telling me "It's okay be here" and I kept telling myself the same and reminding myself that it's not me thinking I am just observing. was little bit challenging to act righteously but thankfully the mind did settle after a while

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Yes I really like these statements of inner nurturing, such as "It's okay... I see you... I am present for this." Rather than trying to making our judgments, frustrations, or resistance either right or wrong, we can just be present for it. Sometimes it takes a bit of time to get to this place of non-judgmental awareness, but the more we practice, the easier it becomes.

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