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Gillian Sanger

5 Gates of Grief - Francis Weller

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I came across a video this morning of Francis Weller talking about grief. I must say, it felt to come at the perfect time. I have been experiencing a lot of grief about the state of our collective and his explanation of the many gates of grief was affirmative for me.

Below is the video (with discussion about the five gates starting at 3:03, though the whole thing is worth a watch). That said, I'll just quickly outline the five gates he mentions here. If you have thoughts or reflections on any of these, I would love to hear them:

1. Grief that occurs when we lose something or someone that we love

2. Grief that occurs when we lose some part of ourselves we've never known

3. Grief related to the losses of the world, the sorrow of the world

4. Grief for what we expected when we came into this world but did not receive

5. Ancestral grief

He notes that in our modern societies, we tend only to really acknowledge the first type. Just hearing him talk about the additional gates of grief felt deeply validating.

 

 

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On 8/5/2021 at 2:09 AM, Gillian Sanger said:

I came across a video this morning of Francis Weller talking about grief. I must say, it felt to come at the perfect time. I have been experiencing a lot of grief about the state of our collective and his explanation of the many gates of grief was affirmative for me.

Below is the video (with discussion about the five gates starting at 3:03, though the whole thing is worth a watch). That said, I'll just quickly outline the five gates he mentions here. If you have thoughts or reflections on any of these, I would love to hear them:

1. Grief that occurs when we lose something or someone that we love

2. Grief that occurs when we lose some part of ourselves we've never known

3. Grief related to the losses of the world, the sorrow of the world

4. Grief for what we expected when we came into this world but did not receive

5. Ancestral grief

He notes that in our modern societies, we tend only to really acknowledge the first type. Just hearing him talk about the additional gates of grief felt deeply validating.

 

 

I just spotted this post from August-so much to respond to here; this Video is every enlightening; as I am grieving the loss of my Brother this past week, I grieve for the loss of my whole, Family cause I am the Sole survivor of my immediate Family; I also grieve for the loss of my Youth, cause I can no longer Run, as I use to run 10K races in my Youth.

Francis recovery so much, I seem to be a loss for words, except, when I called a Colleague RN I use to work with, hearing the News about my Brother, I called her immeditately hoping she would provide some comfort, & Nada...she never returned my call...so that too was a loss; just to be able to express my Grief and acknowledged would have been somewhat calming.

The fact our Planet is so rapidly changing; it's like the Soul of our earth is being ripped out from underneath us very unexpectantly too....to hear about "the hygiene of the Soul" is great way to put it. Jon Kabatt-Zinn speaks about taking care of our "Brain Health".

As a practicing Catholic, we have the Traditions, i.e. "Rituals" of Practice I get to experience; I participated in 2 Mens' Retreats where any Topic/Feelings were expressed; that became deeper for me...so I had those positive experience...this deserves to be viewed again, over & over to remind us of who we are on so many levels.

Thank you, Gillian for sharing.

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Gillian,

I read your Blog & was touched by it...somehow we need more a Community of Spirit; sometimes, I have had temporary ones, then, they seem to go away; even the temporary ones do not sustain themselves...our earth speeds as if we have to  catch up with it... 

I joined your Meditation of "Letting-Go"; it was what I needed today, so thank you:)...Kristin Neff & Christopher Germer, say:

Mindfulness says, ‘Feel your Suffering with spacious awareness’. Self-Compassion says, ‘Be kind to yourself when you suffer’”.

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Hi Rick,

Thank you for sharing so openly and honestly here. I am so sorry to hear of all of your losses, and the grief that comes along with those. Discovering Francis Weller's work through this video has been very helpful for me. He puts words to things that I have felt but never been able to articulate so well.

Hygiene of the soul... yes, a beautiful phrase. As you pointed to, many people talk about taking care of the brain or the body or even the emotional body, but our soul needs are often left unattended.

I wish you lots of self-care and support during this time Rick - and I am very glad you are finding meditations that offer what you need.

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Thanks, Gillian,

It's been a crazy month for sure....it got a little more crazier when my Fiancé got knocked down on Sunday in front of our church & I took her to the Dr's today to be checked out, hence my absence from your group; thank God nothing broken except for some internal Hip and Arm...so she needs to be more careful and let me assist her; I'll let it go with that.

I'm trying to breathe easier...

It's strange or not, someone in our program recommended the Book:

"The Five Invitations: Discovering What Death Can Teach Us About Living Fully" by Frank Ostaseski;

I cant think who it was, who recommended it, actually that was before my Brother passed away, so I am reading it now; it is very enlightening & timely; anyone who wishes to work with the Death & the Dying, I highly urge you to read it; You can get from Amazon with a slight Discount....which, BTW, Resale-able Books is a good deal; every book I've bought second hand has been in great shape; the key is to read the Comments re: the Senders.:)

Namaste....I have turned my recent Meditations to the Hallow App...those too are very Christian & inspiring.

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