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Daniel A. Detwiler

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Daniel A. Detwiler last won the day on February 18

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  1. Hi Vladimir, I read your self reflection and listened to your audio. You have a good voice, caring, strong and clear. Your message is excellent. Thank you for sharing. Daniel
  2. My favorite technique is one I learned from David on this forum. If I fall into self criticism, I catch myself, thank myself for recognizing that and return to the present. I use TNH's statements to center myself: "breathing in, I am aware of breathing in, breathing out I am aware of breathing out". Then, I tell myself some positive affirmations and move on. For me, this works. I know I will likely be challenged again but I will use these techniques and they will help me again. Daniel
  3. Hello Forum Members, the words that inspired me most are not in reference to mindfulness; they are about children. They are from the book "The Prophet" by Kahlil Gibran, the section called "On Children". The entire piece is brief but my favorite words of his follow.. "Your Children are not your children. They are the sons and daughters of Life';s longing for itself. They come through you but not from you. And though they are with you they belong not to you." To me, it reminds all parents that children are born to them but also to the world. The role of the parent is to love, guide and care for
  4. Hi Gillian, I think I have learned these things from mindfulness: pause, breath, identify what I think and feel and then, wait. The more I do all of those things the better my response is to others. Sometimes, waiting lets an issue be resolved by the other person. Having enough time to hear themselves without immediate challenge gives others time to think about what they might have said, done or proposed. At times, the other person grasps that they can resolve the issue themselves. Waiting also gives me a chance to think about what I still need to understand and how I feel about an issue more
  5. This was really helpful, Gillian. Mindfulness regulates attention moment by moment. Compassion gives a caring connection to others and to the self. For the self it involves learning from the ways others have regulated our emotions up until this time. Then, we can find a way to do emotional regulating for ourselves. It also teaches us to ask the question of or about others "what do you need right now?" When we have information we can decide what we might do for another that is helpful and caring. He is a clear communicator and I like these ideas. Daniel
  6. Well Rachel, your blog was so beautiful, authentic and powerful it has left me without more words! For me, you shared truth in ways I have never put together like this. All I can say is please keep being who you are and please keep sharing that with us. Daniel
  7. Gillian, I liked your observation about contentment. At some times in my own life, contentment follows the elation of a happy experience. As I recall it, savor it and integrate it, contentment arises.
  8. Your description of happiness really rang true Rachel. I especially loved hearing your enjoyment of your daughter dancing. Beautiful! I have a granddaughter who dances and I share your sentiment. I am very happy when I laugh. My wife and I had our two grandchildren for a weekend recently and we played a hysterical board game in which each player choses a totally inappropriate response to a life situation described on a card. We all laughed until we cried. It was fun to share a slight "breaking of the rules of social interaction" with them in a safe situation. Because none of us would EVER say
  9. I appreciate your responses Gillian and Rachel. I am continuing to feel relief from the burden of anger. To let it go as both of you have described does something very good for the one who lets it go. Having some understanding that the other was/is wounded is easier with time as my own wounds from those negative encounters yield to healing. Compassion and acceptance are the beautiful qualities that you mention that allow us to move on. It feels enhancing to respond with them rather than anger and hurt. Thanks again.
  10. I had a tough experience in the last few years with an autocratic person. I was a leader in a program and that person led another. When my group and I advocated for a change to a topic that involved both groups, that person went wild. That person communicated in a way that was dehumanzing. After my last enconter I was literally in a state of shock.That person organized an attempt to turn a common community against us. It ended in a stalemate. I resigned to recuperate from the withering attacks. Then, a new leader from our group and other new members attempted interaction again. Same wild and
  11. I think cultivating acceptance, contentment, patience and purpose is an excellent idea. It strikes me that they are all corner stones of a positive and healthy way of being. May you continue your success in doing so and have wonderful experiences. Daniel
  12. I recently commented that I liked the teaching of the monk swami Sarvapriananda better than his lay counterpart Rupert Spira. I noted that I liked that Swami was steeped in the ancient sages and their wisdom. Actually, I feel the same way about Buddhism. I love when Jack Kornfield or Joseph Goldstein reference ancient texts and stories about Buddha. Like Swami S. they convey the stories to illustrate the ethics of their beliefs and the chants and somewhat devotional nature of them. For me, mindfulness is at its fullest embedded in the Buddha and his teachings. Joseph Goldstein is especially sk
  13. I recently watched a dialogue between Swami Sarvapriananda of Adveita Vedanta and Rupert Spira who practices the Direct Approach to Adveita Vedanta. Both speakers and their moderator were always kind and respectful. However, as a life long reader of body language the only thing that kept hitting me was the sense of pain and disappointment on Swami S's face. It seemed clear to me that taking elements of Adveita Vedanta outside of their monastic origins was a difficult thing for Swami to endure. When Swami addresses a group, he talks with consumate knowledge of the origins of Adveita Vedanta through the centuries. He tells stories of past sages and their wisdom. Rupert Spira has none of that in his presentations. He works effeciently to help people realize that at the bottom of their human experience is the primal consciousness or awareness. It is like rapid enlingtenment. However, without a background of the ethics that go with it or the meditation practice to support it I am not sure what this rapidity brings to his listeners. They seem astonished or shocked by this discovery. I wonder if this feels like the gift Rupert hopes they will receive. Others will feel differently. For me, I will take a planful process of discovery echoing the footsteps of sages over quick enlightenment. Daniel

    1. Gillian Sanger

      Gillian Sanger

      Hi Daniel! I am sorry - I am just seeing this now. Status updates don't always show up for me, but it looks like they are now appearing at the bottom of the forum homepage.

      Anyways, thank you for your reflections on this. I think there is value to both approaches and that different people will resonate with different ones (perhaps also at different points in life). I appreciate both. Some of Rupert's more direct teachings have really struck me in profound ways, such as one that explored insecurity in relationships. It sparked a beautiful shift in me, but I know that not everyone will react in the same way to his teachings (as you've mentioned yourself as well). 

      I also just want to point out that I love those words you've used - "echoing the footsteps of sages". Beautiful!

  14. I just finished the 30 day FitMind program which started at the end of 100 days of Mindfulness. I really want to thank Sean for including this program. I was ready for it and benefitted immensely. Having been a therapist, self awareness has been part of my life's work. With prior experience in that arena, experience in guided meditation, past work on relaxation and stress reduction, this program worked for me after the 100 days of preparation. I re-discovered and am re-discovering past succeses that had slipped out of my awareness. It feels good to have them back! Daniel

    1. Gillian Sanger

      Gillian Sanger

      Wonderful Daniel! Congrats on completion and I am so happy to hear that you benefited from it.

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