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Ali Zien

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Ali Zien last won the day on October 25

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  1. Hello Mr David, Thanks a lot for your feedback ^_^ I appreciate it a lot because, As I mentioned, It came to me on day 10 that I should not have any expectations about anything in life. Right now I've just done meditating for 1 hour and I don't even remember if I was present or not because my mind was cluttered was many thoughts, But I am not even upset nor happy. Just grateful for taking another small baby step toward nothing but my truth.
  2. Ali Zien

    2.jpeg

    Great quote, Ockert! Maybe if you ever come to Egypt, I will be your guide although I live in Egypt, I've never seen the pyramids!
  3. Thank you for sharing ^_^ ♥ In my Islamic tradition when we greet people or say good bye, we say: Peace be upon you. السلام عليكم Al-Salam Aly-oukim. Peace be with you Rachel ^_^
  4. Good job! stay committed!
  5. Hello everyone ( Hey Gillian ) I am starting a new phase in my life. My entire life was evolved and I am so happy for that but also little bit concerned with my mind going through infinite "What-if" loop. So, I decided to prepare myself holistically by taking 3 days home retreat (I just made this up, I don't know if this is called a retreat ), Initially I intended to to do it for 3 days and to meditate everyday for 5~6 hours and to fast from sunshine to sunset, But I started day 1 with a lot of fear of how I am going to do this I only did 4 hours of meditation. So, After careful considerations I decided to meditate 3 hours only a day, But at day 4 I was already doing so good at decided to continue to 10 days. At day 6 I was busy or lazy I don't remember but I delayed the last 2 hours of meditation before bed time, Now bed time is in 3 hours and I got to meditate for 2 hours, How on earth I am going to do that unless I sit down for 2 hours and take no breaks between meditation. This what I did. Yup...I even made myself a cup of tea and drunk it while meditating At day 7 I was struggling with meditation because I was upset that I am not perfect Zen master yet I was expecting that I will be present the entire hour but my mind still wandered for most of the meditation and I would catch my mind wandering dozens of times under one moment. Then, My spiritual partner scolded me for having so much expectations and for judging myself, She told me that she is "The worst meditator", "It's totally fine if I fall Asleep during the meditation", "It's perfectly fine for me if I only stay present for few seconds in the entire hour of meditation", "Your ego needs to enroll in expectation school!". Isn't she so sweet? I love her so much ^_^ This was the best lesson I learned in this journey, Expectations are conditions for happiness, Serve them no tea. The rest of days was the best as I started to be carefree about form and to eliminate any expectations of "how it should be", I would meditate with a cup of tea and during the meditation I could stop and pour myself a cup of water or I might pause to go to bathroom or to play with my little Zen master ( cat ). In the end of day 10... Nope, There was no staircase descending from the sky nor I attained enlightenment. I am just so happy because I started to be carefree of expectations and this made me much happier! I don't know what else to say Namaste!
  6. Gillian, your comments always makes me heart joyous! Thank you so much for your presence ♥ honestly, I share these topics periodically just to say hello to you ^_^
  7. This topic is improvised and not organized, I just wrote whatever came to my mind. P.S: Hey Gillian ^_^ ♥ I've came so far thanks to the prayers of my beloved ones and to the angel sent by God to guide me through this journey. Today I am celebrating my great milestone! I never imagined in my life I would come this far and if you have read my first topic you would know how miserable I was and I felt hopeless about any changes or to have the will to move past addiction and depression. for the past 50 days I had few flaws, some days I broke my diet and some days I experienced deep grief and sobbed the entire day in despair, I had also two days where I dipped down and relapsed back to addiction, but the only thing I was committed to was 20 min of meditation everyday and if I wasn't overwhelmed by tiredness and busy schedule I practiced yoga everyday. I feel like I've grown into something wiser and much more mature, I don't concern myself much now with wanting but with serving instead. Today I was reading chapter ten of the power of now, the meaning of surrender, and I did notice that during this journey I didn't let my ego have any expectations of what it should be like: " I must lose this amount of weight in 2 months" "I must make no mistakes at all" "I must wake up everyday at 4 am and be productive" "I must only eat healthy food" I started to practice "Non judgement" and "Self-compassion", just two days ago I was binge eating on pizza and cakes, but I didn't consider it as a "failure", just kept going and went with the flow of life instead of resisting. at one day I got really overwhelmed by grief and instead of telling myself "I must work today and do that or that" I just went back to bed and started sobbing the entire day and barely did anything and I am proud of myself for doing that. at some days I've dropped my guard down and enjoyed some pizza with family, later my ego would scold me for doing that "WE WON'T LOSE WEIGHT" and other ego drama stories, but I just shut this voice and I tell him "go pound sand". one of the most important lessons I did learn is to limit compassion with wisdom, sometimes I would take responsibility for others' suffering and I would sacrifice my own happiness and comfort to please them, but came this person who played a dirty trick that taught me this lesson that I should prioritize myself first and to be compassionate with myself. also other aspect is to be compassionate toward myself that there are things I can't do or control, I can't expect myself to work hard everyday and I can't expect myself to feel happy all the time, but to apply wisdom is to set a minimum amount of effort not to fall beyond it. last thing I started to appreciate it's value is listening and silence, yesterday my sister started to vent about all her life situations and in the beginning I started to point to her some flaws and negative beliefs in her speech I saw that she started to get bothered by me interrupting her and also she didn't appreciate my advices, so I started to practice bringing presence to dissolve her pain body by listening and "helping her relieve her suffering", at final, I did discover that she didn't actually have any problems at all but she just wanted someone to listen to her and to release this built up negativity, in the end I just told her very simple words and she appreciated them so much and felt so much joy. also I found so much peace in not being driven by the incessant urge to share my opinion and to speak, also ironically I was at my English club and the instructor asked a question: "What does dread mean ?", I answered: "Heavy feeling", he said "No, it means heavy fear". instead of being bothered by him not giving me appreciation or credits, I just said "I guess they are the same" and shrugged. I started to enjoy not being like Hermione and to give others space to speak and answer questions, fortunately I know all the answers but I just like to be compassionate and let others enjoy learning
  8. Hey Gillian, Thank you so much for sharing with me. I am really grateful that you went through such unpleasant experience because it was necessary as Eckhart says "Suffering is necessary until it's not", it's a lesson God will keep repeat till we surrender and let him guide us through life just as a loving father would guide a straying child. I do believe God is formless and he isn't male or a female, I just used an expression to elaborate my point/insight... I think I should use "universe" next time because it doesn't imply any mental images of an entity Eckhart also said "In being there is vast amount of intelligence", so when ever I've a life situation and I need a solution, I start to surrender and it's simple process of just being present while your mind keep drifting into "problem solving" you bring it back or observe how for each solution the mind brings up another problem. and eventually when the "right time" comes you will have all the resources and answers you need, but dealing with a "problem" in the "future" is impossible and even if you find a solution the mind will create another mental problem just like an infinite cycle. Thankfully you have witnessed the power of surrender by yourself, when you stopped relying on the mind and just accepted Life/God/Universe, this higher supreme being changed the entire universe just for you because you were one with the one. Love and prayers to you from the land of pharaohs ♥ be present ^_^
  9. Care to share few situations that you were protected by the ultimate love and the beloved one (God) ?
  10. Today I've faced death twice but I was saved twice and I felt really scared that I could die at any given moment by everything and anything, but also I felt deep gratitude that I was being protected by higher being/God and how each passing moment as though we are not present and not grateful yet his majesty is still protecting us and showering us in his mercy and kindness that we don't have to worry about anything as our bodies functions just as the entire universe flow in harmony without any errors. I don't need to worry about drinking water and dying because the water might get stuck in my throat, I don't need to worry about if I am going to eat tonight or not, if I am going to wake up from my sleep or not, if someone is going to break into my house, if any of my family members or friends get hurt or dies. we practice surrendering but unconsciously and we take these things for granted and we consider them to be "simple"... but when truly "simple things" occurs in our life like a bill or an exam, we stop practicing surrendering and we start resisting and worrying. few situations that did happen to me and how I was protected by a higher consciousness/being/God: -Today I was on the roof watching the sky and in Egypt our roofs has exposed standing steel bars in the concrete just like that image and I slipped on a small rock and almost fell on one of them...but I was protected. -in Egypt, in our balconies we have ropes to spread the laundry to dry, so I was doing that and while I was leaning forward I almost fell out of balance...but I was protected. -I was once crossing the road and the driver was in a hurry that he didn't pay attention to me, if I was one fraction of second late I would have died but instead the wheel stepped over the back of my shoes and didn't harm my ankles, the driver didn't even notice and he kept driving.....but I was protected. -yesterday I was doing the dishes with bare hands and I was washing the edge of a knife which had butter and it was so smooth that it almost slipped and could have slit my fingers...but I was protected. -few years ago when I was 18 my dad was recently had a stroke and I was the one responsible to take care of the finances of the house, long story short the water bill collector came to my house with a warning that I've to pay 7500 water bill (for an entire year we didn't pay the water bill because my family was paying the expenses of my father care in the hospital after he had a stroke)...the guy threatened that he will take me to court (for tax evasion ) if I didn't pay him tomorrow 5k, won't go through a lot of details but yes I was devastated and I broke down and I cried so hard and I prayed that God save me from this situation.... and he did save me and protect me. -in the same year, in Egypt we have an electricity police office department to deal with tax evasion and other cases... one day I woke up because 4 guys was knocking (not ringing the bell, this might give you a glimpse of how aggressive they are) on my door, when I did open the door they went in and started shouting and yelling because they usually deal with people who illegally steal electricity and avoid paying taxes, so they assumed that what we did but anyway the situation was that we had to pay 6500 electricity bill, because my dad rents shops and the renters were avoiding the taxes and we were the one responsible to deal with consequences... yes I broke down and I cried hard again and I prayed so hard that God save me from this situation...and he did save me and protect me.
  11. enjoy also this masterpiece
  12. you reached 999 posts, are you going to ascend to a higher dimension of consciousness or what hahaha 😄

    1. Gillian Sanger

      Gillian Sanger

      Wow! Good eye! 🙂

    2. Ali Zien

      Ali Zien

      congratz on 1,000 !

  13. looks like I am mystic man to predict your comment to be first hahaha ^_^ your presence is always soothing and I love how you write your comment with great care and love ♥ indeed, I also started with gratitude journal in the beginning of this year but I stopped journaling and I started thinking about it instead and then I started adding it in my prayers ( I pray 5 times a day as a Muslim) and now it became an addiction for me to say "Thank you" to everyone I meet for very simple things like when the vendor gives me the change back or when the bus driver stop for me. it's so easy now to focus always on the good things and even if something "not good" exist you simply switch your focus to what's good.
  14. Hello my beloved friends ♥ Today I brought you a further greater accomplishment, The past month I've created a progress tracker to see how well I will be committed to a life-changing plan. The plan orients around few habits and tasks to be made daily, 20 min of meditation, yoga ,eating healthy and abstaining from toxic bad habits... sleeping and waking early ( not always ) I've made many progress trackers but I never lasted this far, but this month was so different because God have sent an angel ( a mother figure that replaced the love of my mother who passed away more than 10 years ago when I was a little boy ) into my life and she filled my life with love and joy.. my heart was dry and depressed from all the suffering it went through but the angel came into my life and healed my heart and now my heart is blossoming with joy and gratitude ♥ a lot have happened in this month that I can't even count but I will try to share few glimpses because I feel like I can't express my gratitude with words ^_^ -having someone to support me and to care about made me much much stronger and happier, I pray everyday in gratitude that God brought her presence in my life as I also see her as a manifestation of God's love. -I am grateful that I've a community to share my wins with ♥ -I am grateful that my beloved God have provided me with money and support from my family to seek a professional help -I am grateful because I started seeing a psychiatrist and she made a healing plan for me, she said it consist of: *Cognitive behavioral therapy (CBT) *Emotion Management * Acceptance and commitment therapy (ACT) - I am grateful that I've committed to practicing yoga and I've committed to IGNITE 28 days yoga program (Breathe and flow) and thankfully my physical condition became much better,look so young and bright, lost good amount of weight and my back pain is almost gone and rarely appears and I've became very flexible that I can do half lotus with ease but full lotus for few seconds but I don't last longer because I am afraid of hurting my knees. -I am grateful that I've started contributing more deeply to my family by doing chores of cleaning the house and washing the dishes every single day and also by helping my father with his physical therapy healing, I started helping him to walk and by stretching & massaging his leg and arms because he his body is crippled after a stroke. -I am grateful that for the past 30 days I've tried my best to wake up everyday 4 AM to pray the dawn (Fajr) prayer and to meditate for 20 mins and then sipping a cup of joe while practicing gratitude -I am grateful that I was able to contribute much to my friends and family by just bringing more presence and mindfulness in our relationship -I am grateful that I started to develop the skill of observing and pulling attention back, I might go through the day and lose my awareness to some ego stories or mind wandering stories but as soon as I notice I do bring myself back and I started doing this more often. -I am grateful that I did learn how the mind is creating all the suffering, just as my angel always says: "by adding narrative to the event". the mind turns a situation into a problem and turns a thought into a drama, but dis-identifying is a great gift to have and it's a very relaxing soothing and yet liberating thing to do (it helps me to sleep better at night as my mind creates a lot of stories before bed ) -I am grateful that I started to accept the fact my manifested form is okay to be imperfect because in the level of un-manifested formlessness I am perfect, it's perfectly fine to have days where our physical body is lazy and can't do much and our meditation isn't the best or short.. just doing the minimum in this situation is the best answer but most importantly is not to fall below thought level and start identifying with ego stories about lazy or bad we are. -I am grateful that my angel would scold my ego whenever I started creating unnecessarily drama but also she was there to guide and to love me when I needed help and support during challenging life situations ♥ she made me realize my true worth and how valuable I am and also how wonderfully beautiful I am ♥ -I am grateful that bringing mindfulness into my study helped me advance much much better and yet I am not judging myself for not studying for many hours a day, I usually study (2-3) hours a day using pomodorro timer. -I am grateful that as much as I had a lot of joy through this journey, I am more grateful for having a firm ground to stand on instead of bouncing between happiness and depression. I feel more stable and calm, yet I get triggered sometimes and my mind starts creating drama and urges arise but it's so much easier now to realize my own presence and the mind stories so I can easily dis-identify . this is what present in my heart right now, but I am sure there is a lot much to be grateful for because I have a dancing heart ^_^. I am sure @Gillian Sanger will be the first one to comment, so I just want to tell her I love you from the bottom of my heart and that you so wonderful and your presence is so precious and valuable... Thank you so much for bringing much joy and love to this community ♥
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