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Posts posted by sfc01

  1. 9 hours ago, Emilyd123 said:

    I am truly honored to be here and look forward to learning from every member. I am in the process of pivoting my consulting business to focus on mindfulness in leadership. I’ve been meditating for 10 years and recently had a transitional life experience that has prompted me to dive deeper into the area of mindfulness. Thank you for welcoming me into this community. 🙏

    Welcome Emily, I'm new too.

    Do update us all on how you get on with bringing mindfulness into your business.

    I worked for IBM for 20 years and one year the company made a big thing of promoting mindfulness to their employees and and offered some education. It was kind of a buzzword for them. As usual with IBM tho,  they soon decided to forget all about and move onto the next waste of time and money ha. To be fair, with 20 odd thousand employees worldwide, it was never going to work to any great degree.

    It will be interesting to see how it goes with you. 


  2. I've been kind of forced into acceptance due to the (to me at least) turmoil in my life that hit a peak around 9 to 10 years ago. 

    I had chronic anxiety and depression which lead to poor performance at work, separation from my long term partner, having to move out of my house, and away from my world; my kids. 

    I self destructed after this, taking drugs: prescriptions, illegal ones, research chemicals etc and managed to fall down the stairs at my mums, badly and chronically damaging my left elbow that needed a few operations and treatment for two years.

     With the help of (finally) an anti depressant that worked, time in the priory hospital, professional mental health treatment, mindfulness, CBT, and personal development I was able to finally work on accepting my new reality. I got there and since then I have found that acceptance is almost my default way of looking at life, it comes a lot easier and quicker. 

    One particular part of openness that struck a chord with me was the beginners mind, to look at people with fresh eyes, without judgement, as though meeting them for the first time. I look to do this with anyone I meet, whether for first time, or people I know.

    It can be illuminating and surprising... and fun. I am good friends now with people that previously I wouldn't have put in any effort to to get know.


  3. These 

    On 9/9/2021 at 4:35 PM, Tracy Lynn said:

    This is a hard question for me to answer personally, & I know there are many situations, but I will gladly give it a shot with the biggest one.

    For me I believe I could increase openness and acceptance in working with situations with my 16 year old. At this time she is living in a different town 2 hours away from me with her father. As stated in my Ice Breaker response for me the relationship was a toxic one & though she has admitted it is not good for her either she still remains there as she does not enjoy/accept fully her step dad & step siblings. Though many times she has stated that her step dad has been more of a dad to her than her own she has pain remaining from the divorce between her father & I. Her step siblings are also younger than her & though she would defend them to the death if needed & she loves them, she was for many years the only child therefore she isn't used to sharing, especially me.

    I also am using this situation as there has been a large gap forced between her & I due to her father instilling his beliefs (because she is there full time) regarding certain (& a lot of) "hot button" topics. Though she does not fully agree with his beliefs, he has in my opinion forced them on her so much (especially one) that she refuses to discuss them openly to hear all sides, benefits, negatives, etc. Because of this wedge that is now between us it has me on edge fully fighting for my side to be heard to at least open her mind to all possibilities.

    Some ways I have been working to create openness has been to only bring up the topic with her when we are alone & ONLY when it is appropriate. I also have been sharing with her facts that support my beliefs & the emotions behind them as well. My daughter is also highly intuitive & gifted with other abilities, therefore we can seemingly connect on a higher level & while I know she understands my side I slowly work to open her mind to at least listening to me on it bit by bit. Though this is hard for me as I see him as not being open to expanding her mind to all possibilities & taking her individuality, safety, mental/physical health & life in general seriously I reassure her that her step dad & I are both always here for her, her safe place, & that we take her seriously as a growing individual.

    I am separated from my two young kids, and have been now for a while. I had some issues with their Mum for a time just after we split but the situation has been good since . I know its incredibly painful when you cant have the relationship with your beloved kids that you would ideally want.

    It was hard at the start because my ex behaved pretty poorly at first, in front of the kids, and regrettably I let myself get dragged in, but after some time I was able to just focus on my time with them,  on the close bond we still had,... and as much as I could do, keep them away from the situations and discussions I had with their mum about there upbringing.

    Your daughter is still young, and you still have a very strong bond, connection and understanding between each other. It will be fine.

  4. On 9/9/2021 at 3:58 PM, Gillian Sanger said:

    I shared this poem in another corner of the community, but as I came across this thread once again, I wanted to post a link to it here as well (along with an excerpt). This poem arrived at the door of my mind at the perfect time just the other week:

    Awakening Now by Danna Faulds


    "Do you value your reasons for staying small more than the light shining through the open door?
    Forgive yourself.
    Now is the only time you have to be whole.
    Now is the sole moment that exists to live in the light of your true Self.
    Perfection is not a prerequisite for anything but pain.
    Please, oh please, don’t continue to believe in your disbelief.
    This is the day of your awakening."



    That's perfect. It offers insight into the depth of magic and beauty of the present moment.

    • Like 1
  5. Welcome Dianne, its fantastic what you want to do !!

    I'm a newbie here too btw, and whilst having to think hard about my own practice right now...there is no doubt that mindfulness works wonders for chronic pain and I'm sure the forum will be very helpful for you.



    • Like 2
  6. 4 minutes ago, Gillian Sanger said:

    Your thoughts, questions, and requests for insight are always welcome! I posed the questions because I thought there was something there - something in the tension between wanting to give up the practice and simultaneously not wanting to. 

    One thing I'll say is that your practice can shift throughout your life. One hour is indeed a long daily practice, but you can stay true to mindfulness by exploring shorter formal practice and bringing more informal mindfulness into your life. So perhaps there is something in you that is calling you to explore mindfulness in a new way. Just a thought 🙂

    Happy to have you here.

    Thanks Gillian,  appreciate your response, its very helpful and your last sentence is kind of the conclusion I came to after my initial post. 

    I said above that I believe mindfulness has the potential to be an extremely powerful tool.... beneficial to all aspects of our day to day living and I wouldn't want throw that away, I also think I have the experience now to effectively implement your comments above - I'll start working on it straight away I think 🙂




    • Like 1
  7. 3 hours ago, Bfrisky said:

    Day 5

    Body scan.

    Q.) What information do you receive when checking in with your body?

    I really struggled to feel my body because I've been so "in my head" lately. I've set an alarm on my phone to do the 3 check ins during the day. This exercise really showed me how disconnected I've become and that's likely why my anxiety levels have been so high the last few days. 


    Hiya Bfrisky,  I'm new to the forum so I hope my comments are not just stuff you know about yourself anyway.

    With the body scan,  you don't have to feel any sensations. The lack of sensations is just as much a part of the practice (although feeling them does makes the practice more pleasant for me). 

    I've always found the body scan can be enhanced by doing it after exercise or mindful yoga, or after a bath/shower. I found a good way to actually feel certain areas whether sensations or not is to imagine breathing in then out directly to the area you are focusing on...as though breath is passing in and out of the skin...feeling the area expand a little with the in breath and then deflate with the out. This normally allows me to focus pretty quickly in that area.

    If anxiety is high, or you feel disconnected, then try a mindful walk, whilst watering your plants again perhaps. I know from my experience with anxiety that a sitting practice can be extremely difficult if you are really anxious.

    I feel that walking, yoga, whether mindful or not, is more beneficial for high bouts of anxiety than sitting breathing is.

    Hope my comments have helped a little !! Anyway, well done and keep going.


    • Like 2
  8. Hi Gillian, thanks for the welcome.

    Have been sat here thinking for a good while now how to respond to your questions. They're good questions, and on the face of it, not too difficult to reply to...I thought ha... but realised it would have to be a long and complex set of responses, as I think its a long and complex set of reasons that have led to me being close to giving up mindfulness. Not sure anyone would appreciate a long post from a newbie.

    I was in a bit of a quandary when I first posted as I hated the thought of not practicing anymore but have thought about it a lot since, and I'm hoping I have maybe found a way forward to carry on.

    I'll get to know the forum a little better, participate if I can, and then, when I'm perhaps a little clearer , ask for the advice and help that I think I am still looking for 🙂



    • Like 1
  9. I'm David and have just signed up to the Forum so Hello All !!

    Been practicing for 10 years or so now, every day, sometimes hour plus sittings. I started due to anxiety and depression I suffered from and whilst it didnt do much for that, I always thought cultivating mindfulness for day to day living would be a very powerful and positive tool for life in general, and I still do.

    My anxiety and depression went years ago and I'm a pretty happy, bubbly, confident and motivated person but please give me some advice 🤞!

    I'm about to ditch mindfulness formal practice for good as it has never with any significance or consistency crossed over into my daily life. Formal practice is no problem, I enjoy it, but I just don't see any other benefits spill over. I still tend to be on autopilot, still react and not respond, still do things good and bad that I know mindful living would either enhance or reduce.

    Have googled a lot, have tried a lot: all the basics, plus many things I have come up with, but can't break through.

    I'm in the process of reorganising and developing aspects of my life, to prioritise etc and although it would be hard, sitting for an hour in a formal practice is standing out as a waste of time right now and I'm gonna jack it.

    Please help me !!







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